The purpose of our gathering here should not be lost on us. You didn’t come to admire floral decorations, exquisite lace, or to further your interest in boutonnières and the affixing of them. You’re here to witness this man and this woman joyfully and solemnly covenanting to be united as husband and wife until death. What they are vowing to do really is remarkable. So I want to zero in on what a covenant is, and what it means in the grand scheme of things.
One helpful definition of covenant is that it is “a solemn bond between two or more parties, sovereignly administered, with attendant blessings and curses.” The text I just read (Jer. 31-31-36), describing God’s covenant of grace with the church, contained all those elements. So let me take that definition bit by bit and then make a few observations and applications.
First, as a solemn bond, a covenant means more than just signing up for a rewards program at your favorite coffee shop. It is a solemn thing, which is to say, a matter of weighty significance. Solemnity is fitting because the parties involved are being bonded together by the vows they are taking. To break such a bond is to make truth-telling unnecessary. Either our vows are meaningful or they aren’t. If they aren’t meaningful every business deal, every treaty, every household is in jeopardy of being torn to shreds by deceptive promises.
Secondly, a covenant differs from merely a personal commitment. I can commit to forgo chocolate for a year––and what a sad year that would be. But I’m not involving anyone else in that commitment. However, a covenant must be between two or more parties. Given the misguided nature of our current culture I should underscore that when it comes to a marriage covenant it is naturally only a vow between one man and one woman. Whereas other covenants can involve more than two parties, like a treaty between several countries. A covenant brings two separate entities into a new relational bond, which necessarily precipitates a new way of conduct for the once separate entities.
Thirdly, such a covenant is to be sovereignly administered, which means that we as people make such vows not as little despots of our own destinies. Rather, all our “yesses” and “nos” are made before the face of the God who sees all things at all times. It is God, in the vows about to be exchanged, who will unite this couple into one flesh. Thus, it is right and good for a minister of the Gospel, as a representative of Christ, to administer these oaths, and for us all to gather together as Christian witnesses of these holy vows. All of us will be made to give an account for how we prayed for and supported these two in remaining faithful to their marriage vows.
Lastly, every covenant we find in Scripture is accompanied by an important feature: blessings for faithfulness, and curses for unfaithfulness. In keeping a covenants there is always blessing. Think of the business deal where two parties covenant to share the profits depending on each party delivering their promised work. There is material blessing that arises from such covenant faithfulness. However, when a culture embraces deception and oath-breaking, then up becomes down, and laws become optional, and lawlessness abounds. But enough about Washington, D.C. To keep a covenant is to share in the agreed upon blessings of that covenant, to break that covenant is to invite the shame and disaster that is involved in the curses of that covenant. We don’t need to think to long about all the misery that arises from broken marriage vows: children tossed between parents like a bargaining chip, loss of trust, hard hearts towards God, financial uncertainty, and emotional turmoil.
All of this has been a methodical exposition of a biblical definition of covenant. But we ought not to treat this explanation as if it were the IKEA assembly instructions that can be easily dismissed. Rather, understanding covenant is more like the concrete slab upon which a house can be built. If this couple, and more broadly if we as a culture, neglect to understand what the marriage covenant is, we are inviting upon ourselves the madness of a culture of covenant breakers. Which is to say, a low trust society, where everyone keeps their finger close to the trigger. This is because God Himself, as we saw, in our text earlier, is in covenant with mankind. The world was made by a covenanting God, and while Adam’s fall into sin produced a cataclysmic introduction of rampant evil, Christ came to restore man to covenant fellowship with the Triune God. In Christ, we are brought into the life and joy of God Himself, and this is only because God has covenanted with us to forgive our sins because of Christ’s shed blood, and to give us everlasting life because of Christ’s resurrection.
This all being the case, I’d like to directly exhort both Landon & Chloe in turn. Landon, you are the initiator of this marriage covenant. It is fitting for you to ask her to marry you and not the other way around. This is because God has ordered the world in such a way that, as the Apostle Paul teaches, the husband is the head of the wife. You are a watchman on the walls, and you must not fall asleep at your post. To be a covenant head is to be a target. You are the quarterback and the opposing team is pinning back its ears, eager to absolutely cream you. You must not begrudge this duty, or try to sneak to the end of the metaphorical bench, as if the coach won’t notice that his quarterback is playing water-boy instead. You must stare down all the threats which are staring you and your bride down, and say with the Psalmist, “I will not fear though 10000 encamp against me.” Regarding your covenant with Chloe, you are obligated to fight for it to the death.
Chloe, your soon to be husband is about to make a vow to you to love and cherish you throughout the rest of his life. He is making you a stunningly glorious promise. You are to receive that promise and make his promise a continual joy. He initiated this covenant, and by returning his vows with your own, you are acknowledging that his leadership of you is most gladly received, his love for you is not taken for granted, his cherishing you is returned to him a hundredfold. This is your great privilege and duty. To receive his covenant obligations to you and turn them, by your own covenant faithfulness, into a household of beauty, full of children, rich with warm affection, spilling over with laughter, dancing, and feasts well spread is your duty as a Christian bride. As Landon is called to imitate Christ’s covenant love for the church, you are called to imitate the Church’s joyful reception of and reciprocation of the great covenant love of God.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen.
Benediction
May this newly formed household be fastened by the strong cords of the covenant love of God. Where there is sin expel it. When there is lack provide. When there is sorrow bring them joy in Christ and through each other. Grant unto them children and children’s children, all of whom rejoice in Your covenant mercies all the days of their life. We ask all of this in the name of Jesus, by the power of the Spirit, and for the glory of the Father. Amen.
