children

A Catechism for Getting Ready for Church

by Ben Zornes · Mar 14, 2025

I usually go over these questions with my kiddos shortly before we head to church. Thought it might be useful for others. Enjoy and make it your own.

Who made you? God.
What else did God make? Everything.
Why did God make you and all things? For His own Glory.
Why do we go to church? To worship the Lord.
How do we worship the Lord? In Spirit and in Truth.
What does it mean to worship the Lord in Spirit? We worship Him from the heart.
What does it mean to worship the Lord in Truth? We worship Him according to the Bible.
Who do we worship the Lord with? All of God’s people.
Who are God’s people? Those who are baptized & believe.
Are you baptized? Yes.
What does your baptism mean? That I belong to Jesus.
Are you going to take the Lord’s Supper? Yes.
What does the bread & wine remind us of? Jesus body and Jesus blood.
Do you believe all this? Yes
Bonus Question. Should you wiggle or fuss? No!

A Revival of the 5th

by Ben Zornes · Oct 28, 2024

As we celebrate the spark that lit the Protestant Reformation, we should consider the character of such revivals. One of the prominent features of the Reformers was the refrain ad fontes or “to the sources”. This was nothing other than the promised spirit of Elijah, which always accompanies such a renewal of God’s church.

Where the Spirit goes, father’s hearts turn tenderly toward their children, and children’s faces are upturned in a hearty respect for their fathers. But a movement that reviles its fathers of the faith does not bear the tang of the Spirit’s presence. A movement that treads upon children isn’t born from above, but from below.

As we labor for cultural revival it must begin in this relationship between fathers and their children. If you are a father, regardless of how old your children are, you are summoned by the Spirit of God to turn your heart with tenderness to your children. You are not to despair over your children’s failures, nor should you presume that their bad character or habits are permanently fossilized. Rather, you must, by God’s grace, find another gear to pursue your children with scandalously generous love. Your joy and favor should rest upon them like the sun on a cloudless day. While this holds true especially for fathers, of course it’s applicable to mothers as well.

And children, as your father’s turn their hearts toward you, return that love with loving obedience. Let the instruction of your father and the wisdom of your mother be as a crown, a sword, a scepter unto you. They bestow you with the royalty of being children of the covenant, and so receive that lofty calling and fulfill it in honor of both God your Father and your parents. The true spirit of the Reformation is a glorious retrieval of the fifth commandment to Honor thy father and thy mother.

Prayer of Confession

Father God,

In a nation plagued by resentment and animosity between generations, where fathers have abdicated and walked out, where mothers are killing their unborn, where children defy their cultural heritage, we ask that within your church you would send forth Your Spirit. Stir up within fathers a strong paternal and selfless love for their sons and daughters; give fathers the courage to diligently sow seeds of righteousness within their children, plowing the fields in hope. And grant that our covenant children would not slacken their pace in walking according to Your Word, but stir them up to honor their parents by honoring You in all areas of their life. Where we have neglected this calling of hearts turned to our children, and so taught them to turn their hearts from us to sinful enticements, forgive us. Grant such a revival of godly love between fathers and mothers and sons and daughters in our day and in our midst.

You have called Your church to truth in the inward parts, so we now confess our individual sins to You. Selah.

We do this in Jesus’ mighty name, and Amen.

Loving Calculus

by Ben Zornes · Aug 19, 2024

We often say around here that parents need to not only teach their children to know the standard of God’s word, they also must be taught how to love the standard. That is an essential bit of pastoral wisdom.

I want to give some practical pointers on how to actually do this. If I were to tell a group of advanced mathematics teachers that they need to not only teach their students the finer parts of calculus but they need to teach their students to love calculus they very reasonably might inquire, “How do we do that?!”

The fact of the matter is that if you delight in something, it isn’t hard to confer that delight. If you delight in something you love pointing out all the subtle joys to be found in that thing. Chefs delight in the various seasonings and how they can be mingled gloriously. A baseball enthusiast will tell you all about the glories of Nolan Ryan’s fastball. Again, true delight must be present in order to spread that delight to others. So then, you must be exuberant in your delight in God’s Word, in God’s people, and above all in God Himself.

This ought to show up in how you sing both here at church and in your home; how you run your family Bible studies; how you address sin and disobedience and reconciliation. Is God’s Word the joy and rejoicing of your heart?

Personal delight is one thing, but then should come consistency. Your joy in the things of the Lord will draw your children into that delight. But only if you are consistent in your joy. A river without banks is a damaging flood. So let your joy in God flow in the channels of obedient leadership of your children. This will bring them to love the standard, which is Christ.

The Inescapable Story of Jesus 10a | Moses’ Promised Prophet

by Ben Zornes · Jun 12, 2024

Introduction

The truth makes soft hearts. Lies make hard hearts. We too often cushion and nuance the truth. Whereas Jesus confronts us with hard words of truth, which if we will receive them like children, will make hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.

The Text

And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again. And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. […]
Mark 10:1ff

Summary of the Text

The potent teaching ministry of Jesus continues, this time closer to Jerusalem, in the area John the Baptist ministered (v1). The Pharisees come with another challenge, intending to put Jesus in Herod’s crosshairs: Is divorce lawful? Jesus asks them to explain what Moses taught, and they reply with a not so accurate summary of Moses’ teaching (vv2-4). Jesus then explains that divorce is only permissible as a provision due to the Fall, and then also appeals to Moses (Gen. 1:27, 2:24) by drawing the Pharisees’ attention to the creational glory of male & female. Jesus teaches that this male and female in the image of God infers weighty duties of leaving & cleaving in a covenantal one-flesh union (vv5-8). It is God Himself who joins a man and woman in marriage, severing this union is an assault on God’s handiwork (v9). Later on in private, the disciples have some follow up questions, and Jesus explains that divorce without lawful cause is a violation of the Seventh Commandment (vv10-12; Mk. 6:17).

Mark weaves together some threads from the previous chapter here. Jesus had instructed the disciples to receive children, and in so doing receive Him and the Father (Mk. 9:37). However, when an opportunity comes for them to put Jesus’ teaching into action, they fumble. As the crowds bring children to Jesus for blessing, the disciples play middle linebacker. This greatly annoys Jesus, and He gives an even more clear statement: not only should children not be forbidden from the Kingdom of God, but also if you desire to receive the kingdom, you must receive it like a child. Meaning, children can receive this Kingdom. Jesus then gathers the children into His arms, puts his hands upon them, and blesses (eulogei; imperfect tense) them (vv13-16).

Mark moves on to the next episode, and if tradition is correct, this section is where Mark himself makes an appearance, commonly known as the rich young ruler. Jesus is going forth “in the way”, and the young man comes running up with a request for the way to inherit eternal life. Jesus pries into why this young man calls Jesus good, as God alone is good; He then lays before him the 7th, 6th, 8th, 9th, and 5th commandments (vv17-19). The man claims that from his youth he’s dutifully observed these laws (v20). Jesus looks upon him with love and then calls him to a hard thing: give up everything, give it to the poor, take up the cross and follow Jesus (v21, Cf. Mk. 8:34). Jesus exposed and then touched the nerve: the young man’s covetous/idolatrous heart couldn’t imagine doing without wealth (v22).

The Lord takes this opportunity to teach the disciples about the deceitfulness of riches. Those with great wealth face a certain set of temptations which keep them from entering God’s Kingdom (v23). This stuns the disciples. Jesus doesn’t soften the blow but adds even more force to His words. Calling them Children (for the first time), He teaches them that rich men will have a harder time entering the Kingdom than a camel going through a needle’s eye (vv24-25). Their astonishment deepens and they ask, “Who then can be saved?” Which brings us to the heart of the Gospel of grace: what’s impossible for man is not impossible for God (vv26-27). Something in all this clicks for Peter, and he reminds Jesus that they’ve left everything in order to follow Jesus. Jesus says, “Amen” to Peter. Then He elaborates on how this life of surrender and sacrificial service is gain and not loss both in this life and the life to come (vv28-30). This is the right side up Kingdom (v31).

More About Moses

We really can’t fully understand Jesus’ teaching in this section without understanding what Moses first taught. Moses made an appearance at the Transfiguration, standing as witness that Jesus was the Prophet he had foretold would come, and whom Israel must heed (Deu. 18:17-19). Jesus now responds to the trap which the teachers of Israel set by demanding they exposit Moses up on the blackboard. They say Moses permitted divorce. But they overlook Moses’ reasoning for this permission: sexual uncleanness in the world due to sin. Moses also taught, in his creation narrative, that God’s good purpose was to unite male and female into a new entity. This entity, of course, was capable of recreating itself in the bearing and raising of children. In Deuteronomy, fathers are to teach their children that the Lord is One Lord (Deu. 6:1-9). They must not offer their children to Moloch’s fires (Deu. 18:10). God would circumcise not only their hearts, but the heart of their seed (children) (Deu. 30:6).

This whole passage is Jesus as the Greater Moses. Divorce is a sorrowful rending of God’s good purpose in marriage. Jesus says that divorce is a “thing” because hearts are hard. And a hard heart won’t think twice about sacrificing children in the fire of Gehenna in order to appease the idols. Broadly speaking, marriages crumble due to three sorts of idolatry: unlawful sexual gratification, self-absorbed vanity, and hoarded wealth. Healthy marriages are marked by sexual selflessness, humility, and generosity. Mark sandwiches Jesus’ teaching about divorce between these two teachings on receiving children. Our culture has cut the brakes on divorce, and it shouldn’t surprise us that it also resents children. This resentment ranges from general disdain to the horrific: abortion and genital mutilation.

Jesus insists that children are to be received. Childlike trust is the model for how we ought to trust our Heavenly Father’s promise of salvation through Jesus Christ. They must not be sacrificed in Gehenna. Jesus calls us to bring them to Him for His blessing. And while these covenant children receive this blessing, they must beware, as they grow, to learn the lesson of the rich young ruler.

Wealth and Eternal Life

And what is that lesson? Moses also warned Israel that when they came into Canaan and dwelt in houses they didn’t build, eating of the vines they didn’t plant, they needed to “beware lest thou forget the LORD […] and go after other gods (Deu. 6:12-15).” As I’ve shown before, Jesus came to overthrow Israel’s idolatry. The young man is one instance of how firm a grip idolatry had in Israel. He believed that there was an age to come, one where the faithful would dwell eternally upon this earth, with Yahweh ruling in their midst personally. The question of 1st century Israel was how to ensure you secured your seat in that kingdom reality. The assumption was that deuteronomic wealth, every man under his fig tree (Mic. 4:4), was evidence that God’s favor was upon you.

But the young man’s great wealth wasn’t proof of living under deuteronomic blessing. Instead, Jesus’ hard words revealed the blessings were being taken for granted. The man’s heart had gone after other gods, for he couldn’t part with his wealth; and wouldn’t take up a cross to follow Christ in His path of sacrifice, humility, and generosity. His love of wealth made him blind to the treasure to be found not only in the life to come, but even in this life. Following Christ is its own reward, for in Him is the fullness of joy.

Give it all Up

Christ has come to make that which is impossible possible. Is it possible for a rich man to be freed from the love money? An angsty husband from his selfishness? A bitter wife from her coldness? A marriage full of thistles to become a green pastures? A child to grow up in the arms of Jesus without falling away? The hard heart says all this is impossible. But since Jesus brought the Kingdom of God into the middle of history, He says it can be done (Cf. Ez. 36:25-32).

What do you have a death grip upon? Your dreams? Your pride? Your sin? Your insistence that try as you might you can’t overcome your idolatry? Jesus says come to Him. Come as a child. Remember the Spirit of Elijah turns the hearts of fathers to their children (Mal. 4:4-6). This impossible thing is possible because God the Father beams with glad joy upon His righteous Son. If you would find God’s pleasure upon you, come, take up the cross, and follow Jesus.

Communion Homily

Christ’s call to leave all behind, even your riches, in order to follow Him into His eternal kingdom should not come as a surprise. For even there Jesus set the pattern for us. He laid His glory by and took on the likeness of a servant. He who basked in the eternal delight of His Father, and whose beauty and holiness was praised by archangels humbled himself and had no form nor comeliness. The Psalmists asked for the face of God to shine upon them, but when Christ came, He had no beauty that we should desire him.

Here at this table, we memorialize the glorious humility of Christ. He descended from the courts of Heaven to the hillsides of Nazareth. He went from the height of national popularity, to the loneliness of Gethsemane. He who held the scepter of the universe was flogged by Gentile soldiers. He who gave the Law to Moses, was betrayed by the students of Moses. He who was sinless became sin. He who was most blessed forever, became accursed upon a tree. He who had reigned from Heaven was cast into the depths of Hades.

And for all this, the reward of His sufferings was the Resurrection from the dead and the Kingship of all the earth. This is the invitation He makes to us in His Gospel. That His story of glory to humility and then exaltation to greater glory would be ours as well. Mankind lost the glory of Eden. But He invites us to lay it all aside. All the glory of our pathetic kingdoms. All the vanity and pride of our sins. All our lust and envy and rivalry. Cast it aside. Go to the cross in Christ, and so receive in Him everlasting glory. So give everything up in order to get everything.

So come in faith and welcome to Jesus Christ…

Charge & Benediction

There are only two ways of living. A closed fist, or an open hand. God, through Christ, has shown us the way to live: give everything up. To love God and to love others is to open your hand.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

Other sermons in this series

The Inescapable Story of Jesus 09b | As a Child

by Ben Zornes · Jun 7, 2024

Introduction

Perhaps you’ve boarded a plane with your kids in tow, and seen the pained expressions on the faces of the other passengers. You may as well have killed a puppy in front of them. The scowls and sighs belie a cultural mood that is far from Jesus’ Kingdom.

The Text

And they departed thence, and passed through Galilee; and he would not that any man should know it. For he taught his disciples, and said unto them, The Son of man is delivered into the hands of men, and they shall kill him; and after that he is killed, he shall rise the third day. But they understood not that saying, and were afraid to ask him. […]
Mark 9:30-50

Summary of the Text

Jesus once more teaches His disciples about the endgame of His mission: death and resurrection (vv30-32). Once again Jesus alludes to himself in terms of Daniel’s prophetic vision of Dan. 7; but here Jesus introduces something new: the Son of Man will be betrayed (v31). The disciples are still confused by all this, but like timid pupils are afraid to ask the teacher to explain further; instead they devolve into bickering about which of them would be the greatest in this kingdom which Jesus was inaugurating (vv32-34). Mark tells us that this conversation took place in “the house” in Capernaum, Jesus’ own residence; this will be His last visit home before going up to Jerusalem (v33). Jesus discerns the crackle between them and brings a child (likely a young relative of Jesus) to illustrate the lesson the disciples need to learn. Greatness is defined by humility and service. Showing hospitality in Jesus’ name to small ones is not only showing hospitality to Jesus, but to His Father as well (vv35-37).

The conversation shifts gears and John asks about a man who was trying to cast out devils in Jesus’ name, even though he wasn’t an authorized member of Jesus’ followers. John says they had rebuked him for doing so. Instead of finding Jesus’ approval they find that Jesus isn’t bothered by this in the least. As a bit of an aside, this is a proof of Jesus’ divine nature in that the demons could only be driven out if God willed it; Jesus’ name wasn’t a magical incantation. Cobelligerents should be welcomed, not scolded, so long as they are cobelligerents in Christ’s name (vv38-41).

Jesus returns to the topic at hand. Sinning against the weak merits a swimming trip with concrete boots. And then Jesus wields the knife of His Word to cut up the disciples’ (and our) apathy towards sin. How seriously should you take sin? Seriously enough to lose limbs and senses in order to enter the kingdom of God instead of being cast into hell. Couple this with the restoration miracles which Christ has done. Jesus is, in effect saying, that there is a greater good than mere bodily wholeness. Better to be spiritually whole and bodily maimed than to be bodily whole and gnawed eternally by the worms of hell (vv42-48). Jesus sums up this teaching episode with a final rebuke of their contentiousness with each other. The disciples need to understand that they are destined to be sacrifices, and as such must be seasoned with salt (Lev. 2:13, Ez. 43:24). Followers of Jesus must be salty, not like sailors, but like priests of God’s kingdom of peace (vv49-50).

He Shall Rise

This is the third time Jesus has explicitly taught His disciples about the humiliation and suffering which awaits Him, and those who would follow Him. But this humility is the pathway to everlasting glory. The indignity of Jesus’ death is swiftly coming. But Jesus explains here that after He is killed, He shall rise on the third day. Jesus states this with not only certainty in His Father’s power to raise Him up, but as something He Himself will do. The Resurrection, for Mark, is Jesus’ mightiest work. Where is death’s sting? It is in Christ’s nail-scarred hand. We know from elsewhere in Scripture that we can and should also say that Jesus was raised by the Father, “according to the working of his mighty power (Eph. 1:19-20).” Paul says elsewhere: “But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you (Rom 8:11).” So then, the Resurrection of Jesus from the Dead was one glorious and united act of the Godhead (ontology), even while each divine person of the Trinity had (economically speaking) a different role.

First and Last

We need to be careful not to misunderstand what Jesus is teaching us here about desiring to be first. He is not warning against mere ambition. Rather, what He has in view is ambition which uses others as the rocket fuel burned up to raise you into glory. Desiring to be the greatest isn’t something that suddenly happens to you. Rather, you set your heart upon attaining some pedestal of greatness, and you then arrange all your activities to become numero uno.

Our Lord calls His disciples then and now to direct such energy and any desire for greatness in the direction of humility, sacrifice, and service. The disciples had been sucked into triangles of envy and rivalry, instead of emulating the Lord’s example. The glory Jesus calls us to is found in laying down your life for others. A husband sacrifices his strength to earn a living for his family. A mom sacrifices sleep to nurture a sick child in the night. A shepherd fights wolves to protect the sheep. Our culture seeks greatness through self-absorption. Jesus shows us that greatness is found in sacrifice, in following Him in self-denial, and even crucifixion (Cf. Mk. 8:34-35). If you desire greatness, envy and resentment and comparison will not bring you there, humility will.

Receiving Children

We shouldn’t over-spiritualize what Christ teaches here. He is not using a child merely as an object lesson. Rather, a culture’s attitude towards children is where this pattern of humility leading to greatness is displayed. Jesus calls us to receive children in His name, and in so doing you receive Him and His Father. Children are inconvenient to your own comfort, yet it is through the raising up of godly offspring that this world will be subdued to Christ, and the nations discipled. This is one reason we want you children to worship with us. You children are welcome here. You are not a stumbling block to our worship of God.

Contrast this disposition with what Jesus says about those who ensnare children. There is no mincing of words. A person who even conceives a plan to ensnare a child with some wicked design would be better off to go deep sea diving with “an ass’s millstone” necklace than to actually carry out such a plan. To abuse children, to lead them astray into error, and to slaughter them by the millions are great evils in God’s sight. There are no blunt edges on these sharp words of Jesus. For parents, pastors, and presidents this is a serious warning. Leading astray the little ones under our care is an evil which Jesus the Judge will recompense with terrible severity. Three ways in which we lead children astray: 1) violent, verbal, or sexual abuse; 2) toxic indulgence of the child’s whims, being unable to say “no” to their immature desires and so failing to discipline their desires; 3) failing to welcome them into the life of Christ by either failure to faithfully teach them the Word, or by teaching them the Word and then living contrary to it.

Not only should we have such a hatred of the sin against “little ones”, but Jesus leaves us with no room for escape. If you would enter His Kingdom, you must detest your sin. Do you think you have a wandering eye? An impulsive hand? A restless foot? Is it really your body parts that are ensnaring you in sin? Of course not, it is your heart. If you would follow Christ, you must recognize that He calls you to battle. He calls you to lay aside your feet, hands and eyes in order to be follow Him to victory. Picture a soldier on the battle field with a leg trapped underneath some heavy machinery that fell on him. Better to cut off the leg and flee to safety than to stay a sitting duck.

Salty People

Take everything that Jesus has been saying and doing. Remember how His healings match up with the consequences of idolatry which Psalm 115 describes. Jesus has healed lame feet, withered hands, and blind eyes. Now He tells the disciples that if they would enter His Kingdom, they must be willing to lose feet, hands, and eyes in order to flee from the horrors of Hell.

Jesus’ healings rebuke Israel’s idolatry, and demonstrate that the Jews have become like their idols. If you would be made whole, you must be salted. This is how God required His meals to be prepared. He wants His covenantal meals to be full of flavor and free of the rot of corruption. If you would be a pleasing sacrifice to Jehovah, if you would receive the healing from idolatry, the seasoned Word of Jesus must infiltrate you entirely. His hard teachings need to go deep inside of you and be the preserving and flavorful salt that it is. If this Word, if this Salt seasons you and dwells in you richly, then the peace of God will also rule in our midst (Col. 3:15-16).

Charge & Benediction

Today at lunch, when you reach for the salt shaker, remember that God wants His meal salty too. He wants us, as living sacrifices, to taste good. This is possible only if the hard words of Jesus go down deep into our hearts and change us entirely.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.
2 Corinthians 13:14

Other sermons in this series

Preparing Kids to Worship

by Ben Zornes · Oct 9, 2023

Your duty as parents is to teach your children to delight in the things of the Lord. The goal is not just well-behaved children who have no delight in the Lord; but children who are obedient & self-controlled because they delight in the Lord.

A large part of this duty is done by training your children how to worship the Lord here each Sunday. It’s a glory to have a congregation full of little ones. They truly are a blessing, even when they might be a little more vocal or squirmy than they should be. Parents, and dads especially, should vigilantly work to teach your children how good & pleasant it is to worship the living God. Don’t get ruffled & flustered if Jr. needs ten trips to the discipline room to get his attitude squared away. After all, our Heavenly Father has been exceedingly patient to teach us the same lessons repeatedly.

The best way to prepare your children to worship rightly here at church is by showering them with attentive love at home. This means consistent discipline. Focused attention. Speech that’s both gentle & stern, without a note of irritation & annoyance. Turn your hearts to your children, so that they might turn their hearts to the Father.

Now, a word to the whole congregation. As families are laboring–and it is a labor–to train their little ones, be exceedingly gracious & helpful. This may look like lending a helping hand to a mom when the dad is taking Jr. out. Refrain from giving glares or unsolicited advice. Perhaps ask beforehand if you can help get them the wine during communion, since their hands are full of babies.

The sum is this: while children are most welcome here, we are welcoming them into the delight of God’s presence, not into the narcissist self-absorption of our culture.

Another Article on the Topic

Corralling the Kids As an Act of Worship

Get Married Stay Married | Marriage & the End of the World

by Ben Zornes · Mar 30, 2023

Introduction

Perhaps you’ve watched a skilled artist at work. You watch them paint or carve or shape, moving their hands in ways you can’t, creating something you couldn’t. Then they do something so drastic that you think they’ve ruined the whole thing. That stroke of color was too much. That chiseled off too much marble. That marred the shape of the clay. But somehow it still ends up remarkable. Or think of the skilled cook who bakes & frosts, assembles & garnishes a wonderful spread. Then he invites the guests to dig in, seemingly ruining all the hard work. God is guiding history from one glory to the next. We live in the bright glory of Christ’s resurrection. However, we’re awaiting the final consummation of all things, where this present glory will give place to an eternal weight of glory.

The Text

And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
Revelation 21:2

For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.
Isaiah 62:5

Summary of the Text

There is something in a wedding that portends the end of the world. Secularists foretell that the world shall end, billions of years from now, either in a slow, cold demise, or a cataclysmic fiery meltdown. The Climate Activists tell us that the world will end in starvation, misery, and breakdown.

These texts, along with numerous others, reveal to us how the world will really end: marriage bells. A gloriously adorned bride, free of all flaw. A mighty Bridegroom, rejoicing and beaming with delight over His bride. An eternal covenant, which cannot and will not be broken or transgressed. A sweet consummation of fellowship free from sin, brimful of God’s great love, with no sorrow or sighing to be heard of.

John’s description is that of New Jerusalem walking down the aisle, as it were. The church made complete, coming to rest in the arms of her beloved Savior. Along the same lines, Isaiah uses the picture of the returning exiles of Israel to describe the end of the world, and he uses marital language as well to describe it. The sons would delight in the land of promise, as if marrying it. While even better, God would rejoice over His people like a bridegroom delights in His bride.

What is Marriage? What is it for?

If this be the case, the question arises: does your marriage (or your pursuit of marriage) preach a true or false Gospel? Hookups, porn, divorce, adultery, gay mirage, kink, polygamy, violent actions, and profane language/arguments are all ways of taking the Gospel glory which ought to be displayed in marriage and falsifying it. If marriage is to be a picture of Christ & the church, married Christians, or Christian singles who are pursuing marriage should ask whether they are presenting a faithful portrait of the end of the world.

There are two things which make a marriage what it is. A marriage is a solemn, lifelong vow between one man & one woman which is then consummated. You can have a vow that is never consummated, but that is more like roommates or business partners. You can also consummate without vows, but that is like trying to plant a garden in the middle of Times Square. It’s oxymoronic to speak of “redefining marriage.” You might as well speak of replacing the sun, or rearranging the constellations, or refilling the ocean.

Building Around a Bonfire

The WCF 24.2 gives a helpful three-fold purpose for marriage: companionship, propagation of godly children; and in this fallen world, a curb against uncleanness. “Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with anholy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness.”

The order matters. The first tells us that we are not made for the isolation pods. God made us for productive fellowship (with Him and each other) (Cf. Gen. 2:18); marriage is ground zero for loving thy neighbor. Your marriage should not be built on the identity of “raising kids”, but on partaking of the joy which is covenant communion, and thus displaying how the world will end. Along these lines, we should note that singleness isn’t a virtue to be praised, but a hardship to be endured.

The second teaches us that this marriage union is to be physical & fruitful (Mal. 2:15). It is to increase fellowship, not decrease it. Putting off having children is putting off blessing. Furthermore, only a man & woman can bring about this blessing. The GQBLT dogma insists that folks must have the right to marry whomever they want, but this is to deliberately ignore what the one-flesh union of marriage is. We’re on the cusp of treating children like accessories to our consumerist vanity, instead of the blessed fruit of the covenanted, physical love of a husband & wife.

The third one is, perhaps, easily misunderstood; it might make us think, wrongly, that God is a repressive kill-joy. Rather, marriage is a safeguard against the misery of uncleanness (1 Cor. 7:2, 9). The misery which marriage guards us from is that of fatherless children, aborted unborn, an unending drumbeat of guilt for shameful deeds, the grief that is divorce, the impossibility of fruitful unions. The WCF puts this point in negative terms, but were we to put it positively we can see that in guarding us from misery, marriage is given to us for the cultivation of joy.

The modern world is full of smoldering ruins. The belief is that your momentary pleasure is central to your existence. This conviction is like thinking the best foundation for building your life is a napalm fire of sexual indulgence. The culture then wonders why the framing keeps catching fire, the concrete keeps getting charred, and the plumbing keeps melting. The marriage vows are the foundation, framing, and roof. The consummation is like the sturdy fireplace.

Men are Linear, Women are Circular

Marriage can only be constituted between one man and one woman. This is because marriage isn’t something which can be built using outsourced parts and a good bit of duct-tape. Man has been given a mandate (Gen. 1:28) and a Great Commission (Mt. 28:19-20). In both instances, we see that God intended husband & wife together to serve the task in their respective ways.

Men are linear. They must have a mission to pursue, a problem to solve, a rival to subdue, a challenge to overcome. Meanwhile women are circular. They must have a brood to gather in, a flock to nurture, a rhythm to dance to, a garden to fill & beautify.

Problems arise when husbands want their wives to be linear, and wives want their husbands to be circular. Men are to go out like a rocket, but wives are to draw them in again. Wives are to encircle their home, but a husband must lead his family forward so the encircling doesn’t become a smothering. Husbands though you are linear, you are not infinite, and so as you went out, you ought to come back in. Wives though you are circular that circularity is intended to grow not constrict, so follow the line your husband sets forth and help him take dominion.

The World To Come

God is orchestrating history towards a wondrous denouement. Christ dwelling with the church in unbroken joy, uninterrupted love, and unthreatened peace. Eden not only restored, but glorified. Eden was the seed, the New Jerusalem is the ever fruitful tree.

Lewis once gave the example of trying to describe for a child the delight which a married couple enjoy in their physical union. The child would still prefer chocolate. He can’t comprehend a joy that he isn’t yet ready for. This is what earthly marriage is. It is a preliminary joy intended to ready the church for the joy beyond the shadows. Real joy. God is like that artist which we began with. He has given us this glorious thing called marriage, and yet He assures us that it will soon be supplanted by the True Marriage.

The joy which you shall partake of in eternity isn’t contained by mere moments & glimpses. The hymn gets it spot on when it says, “Solid joys and lasting treasure” are what await Zion’s children. This joy is promised to those who lay hold of Christ by faith. It doesn’t come through good behavior. It doesn’t come from being woke or based. It comes to us through Christ, who sought us and bought us to be His holy bride.

Charge & Benediction

The charge is this. If you’re single, take deliberate steps to ready yourself to be a Christlike husband or wife. If you’re married, stay married…and do so by seeing marriage as God sees it: a glorious parable, which will one day give way to the Real Thing, the eternal fellowship of the Triune God with all the Redeemed Saints of God.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen (Ephesians 3:20-21).