Sermons

2 Peter 1 | A Light in a Dark Place

by Ben Zornes · Sep 21, 2026

Introduction

When all the boys keep crying, “Wolf!” it becomes easier and easier to ignore them. Modern doomsday prophets foretell that global warming, AI-bots, aliens, or lab-made zombie viruses will kill us all. But what if someone you really trusted and looked up to assured you that they were utterly convinced some particular calamity was imminent? The early church was faced with this tension. Jesus had claimed He would come in unmistakable judgement on both apostate Israel and pagan Rome. There was just one little problem. It hadn’t yet happened.

The Text

Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ: Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord […]
2 Peter 1:1ff

First, Some Context

It’s essential to situate this epistle properly. Simon Peter writes this second epistle to the diaspora (2 Pt. 3:1, 1 Pt. 1:1). Nero burned Rome in A.D. 64, and I believe this is the fiery trial which Peter foresaw (1 Pt. 4:12). Peter wrote this letter shortly before he was––according to tradition––crucified upside down by Nero (between A.D. 64-68); this too Peter foresaw (2 Pt. 1:14-15). The “coming (parousia) of the Lord” (1:16, 3:3-4, and perhaps 1:19) is the issue at hand in this epistle. Peter isn’t discussing the final judgement at the end of the world. Rather, the numerous clues fit together to show that Peter is defending Jesus’ promise to come in judgement on Jerusalem, which took place in A.D. 70.

Three main strands are woven together in this letter. First, Peter exhorts Christians how to live during the dark days leading up to Jesus’ promised coming. Next, he refutes false teachers who claimed that Jesus had failed to fulfill His prophesied coming. Last, in the heart of this letter, he comforts Christians with the knowledge that the Lord knows how to deliver the godly from the coming doom.

Summary of the Text

As a prophetic servant, Peter writes to embolden those who have been gifted the same precious faith the Apostles have (v1). These believers can expect nothing less than the multiplying grace and peace which flows from knowing the Triune God (v2). Peter describes our salvation as partaking of the divine nature, and by the divine power being supplied with all the requisite tools, weapons, and provisions for life in days of doom (vv2-4).

God bestows upon Christians unfathomable promises. The glory of what we’re given is less like a charming, but unmoving, painting; it’s more like a perfectly choreographed ballet (v5). The Christian life of faith is full of movement because we are restored to fellowship with God and by His power. Rather than sitting at the edge of the end of the world in paralyzed fear, Peter summons the troops to throw their shoulder into the work and enter the fray. This faith you’ve been given enables you to climb a golden ladder. The first fruit of faith which you’re given and are to diligently cultivate is oomph (virtue), which leads you to true wisdom (knowledge), which exercises you into a tempered lifestyle (temperance), which enables you to suffer long (patience), which reveals God’s own nature in you (godliness), which overflows with kindness to others (brotherly kindness), and, at last, culminates in exemplifying the selfless love of God (charity) (vv5-7).

Baptism into Christ is our escape from the corruption of the old world of lust (v4). These saints were living on the edge of the end of the age, and there were two ways they could live. They could either live in the new creation by partaking of the divine nature and cultivating the virtues which follow. Or, they could neglect cultivating these virtues. Peter says that latter sort of baptized man is short-sighted, forgetting what his baptism cleansed him from (vv8-9). Such a slothful man is a sitting duck for false teachers to pull the wool over his eyes. By giving diligence to living this way, the saint makes his calling and election sure, and will not fall into apostasy (v10). Peter, though he fell away from Christ in Gethsemane, gives hope for feeble sinners. If you trust in Christ, and throw yourself fully into being thoroughly like Jesus, you will join the grand parade of those entering the everlasting kingdom of Jesus (v11).

Peter wants them to remember these things (the testimony of Jesus’ transfigured glory), even as his bodily tabernacle was about to be torn down (vv12-15). Unlike the false teachers, the apostles weren’t concocting fanciful old-wives tales when they taught about Jesus’ own prophecy of His coming in judgement (v16). In fact, Peter was an eyewitness of the transfigured glory of Jesus (vv16-18). Peter’s logic here is glorious. The Father confirmed that Jesus was His beloved Son. The transfiguration revealed the glory that awaits man when joined to the divine nature through Jesus. This glory can only come to us if we hear Jesus (Mk. 9:7). Thus, Jesus’ prophetic word, specifically the Olivet Discourse (Mk. 13), must not be misconstrued, ignored, or twisted. It is the more sure word of prophecy. Living in the dark days between the Old and New Covenants required these saints to vigorously await the dawn of Christ’s day (v19). For of old, the prophets’ inspired words were not confined to the private opinions of the authors; the Holy Spirit was hovering over their inkwell, to reveal by their words the new creation which Christ would bring about (vv20-21).

Believe Jesus

Jesus said He would come in judgement on both apostate Israel and pagan Rome. But for these saints, that was decades ago. The fire of persecution was inflicting real pain and fear. Some false teachers had arisen and were claiming that Jesus must have been mistaken (3:3-4), and thus you should go back to living according to your lusts (2 Pt. 2:1-3, 2:18-19).

Too often in times of turmoil and judgement, we begin to think of faith as a spiritual teddy bear, merely there for emotional comfort. Our faith certainly does provide us emotional comfort. But Peter teaches here that believing in Jesus is more than that. It is living according to the reality of His new creation, even when on the edge of danger and disaster. Further, you should not mistake your salvation as a far off thing, just for when you die and go to heaven. Rather, by receiving this graciously given faith, you are given all things for life and godliness. You are furnished with all the virtue and fortitude to face dark days. That is what it means to believe in Jesus, or in Peter’s terminology, to partake of the divine nature.

See Jesus

Faith, then, is spiritual eyesight (Heb. 11:1). During tumultuous times, we might speak of being unable to see a way forward. But this chapter is all about seeing clearly. A man who is baptized, but is living according to the old world of lust and envy, is blind. On the other hand, those who believe Peter’s eyewitness account of Jesus’ transfigured glory, will enjoy the dawning of Christ’s Kingdom not just in the world, but in their own heart.

While Jerusalem’s destruction is the main fulfillment of Jesus’ prophecy which these saints were awaiting, this is instructive for other moments of judgement. It is all too easy to grow weary of waiting for God’s deliverance, and take your eyes off Jesus. But the minute you do that, Peter warns, you are choosing to be blind in the midst of a battlefield. In tumultuous times, the Christian not only asks, “Where is Jesus in this?” but they conclude that they are to imitate His virtuous life. Where is Jesus? He’s where His body is. Which is why Peter, a bit like a drill sergeant, compels Christians to give themselves to the diligent cultivation of Christ-likeness.

Hear Jesus

So, if you would see clearly in days of darkness, Peter invites you to look to Jesus. But we should notice that for Peter, the way you see Jesus is by hearing and believing Jesus’ own words. If you want to see Jesus, Peter tells you to read your Bible. False teachers, then as now, want you to ignore the Bible, twist the Bible, or doubt the Bible. But to do that is to pluck out your own eyes.

Jesus has made exceeding great and precious promises to His people. The sure word of prophecy is that the temple would be destroyed and the old world would pass away with it. The NT insists that that cataclysmic event would be a decisive deliverance (Lk. 21:28). Why? Because the old world was driven by blind envy. It was driven by all-consuming lust for self-gratification. It stumbled around in the darkness of vice. But if God has given you faith, He’s also given you everything you need, even for cataclysmic times of judgement, to live with certainty in the new creation which Christ has begun. After all, that’s what all the Law and prophets, psalmists and sages, apostles and evangelists of old were saying in Holy Scripture: Look to Christ, only Christ, and all of Christ.

Charge & Benediction

Let me return to that image of a wonderfully decorated stage for a perfectly choreographed performance. Look at those seven virtues which Peter listed which need to be added, one on top of the other, to the foundation of faith in Christ: virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, and charity. Then consider if any of those have two left feet in your life. You may be excellent in a few of these areas, but the life of Christ is to so work in you that all these virtues are being more and more perfected in you, to the praise of His glory.

Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
Hebrews 13:20-21

Courtship 101 | In-Laws

by Ben Zornes · Sep 7, 2026

Introduction

As a young couple transitions from courtship, to engagement, to the wedding day, it might begin to dawn upon them, “These are the people I will spend my holidays with.” If everyone is walking in Christian charity, that should be a joyful thought. If not, it’ll be like swallowing a ghost pepper whole. Your gut will be in knots.

The Text

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1-4

It’s All Relative

The world is, by nature, relative. Not in the way Einstein meant. Rather, the world is orderly. The order which we see flows from the first doctrine which the Scriptures give to us: in the beginning God created (Gen. 1:1). The Creator/creature distinction is the first indication that the cosmos is not just a bucket full of sludge that just happens to slop out into slightly different shapes and sizes. Rather, the creation narrative indicates there are greater and lesser things.

The egalitarian thinks of each person’s birth like launching a video game. We all start at the same level. Society’s job is to make sure everyone gets to pass every level. But this is just not the way the world is.

You are born in the middle of a grand story. The Bible teaches us that in being born a child is obligated to his parents. They are, to use a word that has fallen out of fashion, superior to him. He is younger, smaller, weaker, and knows quite a bit less than them. But he also is born in relation to siblings. He may be the firstborn and therefore superior in that respect. He is born with accompanying responsibilities to any other siblings that come along. Other examples are being born into a position of wealth, talent, or influence.

Paul’s instructions to children and fathers reveals this reality of relative duties. You are not born autonomous, nor can you walk through this life with autonomous indifference. Children are born with obligations to their parents, and when someone becomes a parent certain obligations are also laid upon them. All of this is the case because God made the world ex nihilo.

Heavy-Handed Superiors

What duties does God assign to parents? Paul explains that one of the principle duties of a father to his children is to not do something: don’t provoke your children to wrath. Instead, raise them up in the full counsel and teaching of the Lord. This echoes the wisdom of Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

When it comes to preparing our children for marriage, parents must recognize two things. First, as a child nears adulthood, the temptation to grasp them tighter arises. Second, this temptation arises because parents forget they are training their child in the way he should go.

You train them up in the way so that in adulthood they do not depart. Part of their faithfulness will be in continuing to honor you. But if you insist on continuing to treat them as if they are toddlers, you will soon find that you’ve exasperated your grown child. A grabby parent reveals their own insecurity in how they did in raising a child to not go astray. The tighter you try to grab, the more the child slips through your fingers.

These sorts of parents fail to see that their opinion on how to best load the dishwasher wasn’t requested. If they persist at always offering unsolicited advice, they’ll increasingly find their grown kids sheepishly wandering to the other end of the house. Biblical law prohibits superiors from undue correction of criminals (Deu. 25:3). How much more should parents refrain from sticking their nose in their grown children’s approach to lawn maintenance, the sort of diapers they use, and where to bank?

Waffly Inferiors

Our culture gets the “ick” from discussing things like superiors and inferiors. But this really is inescapable. Thus, grown Christian children need to be careful in how they adjust their relationship to their parents as they enter married life. During a courtship, one of the things a young couple needs to be doing is discussing what sort of household they hope to form. Two separate households are combining to form a new third household. There are numerous ways in which this process can fester resentments that last for years.

Young Christian couples mistake their duty for honoring their parents as a duty to copy and paste every tradition and custom of both sets of parents. But in so doing they begin to abdicate their own duty towards their own children. The duty to honor is not lifted from off their shoulders, but strict obedience is. After all, when a father gives his daughters hand in marriage, there is a real transfer of true authority to the young husband. Where the father could have required his daughter to load the dishwasher the day before the wedding, he doesn’t have that authority any longer (Ps. 45:10). She is still to honor her parents, just as her husband must honor his. But their honor transforms into economic bustle.

Paul’s instructions to Timothy regarding widows helps us understand this (Cf. 1 Tim. 5). A widow who has living relatives (there’s that pesky word again) should be economically honored by those relatives; just as Paul says that ministers should receive double honor (meaning financial support). The honor in view is principally economic in nature. Meaning, able to support them in their old age.

A young husband should establish the jurisdictional boundaries of his new family (Ez. 18:19-20). Imagine a business that manufactures some widget, and in the course of production, some inventive line worker realizes that some of the excess material could be repurposed for another product. If the owner loved the idea, they could form a new business. This new arrangement might retain some level of overlap with the first business, but new lines of authority would also necessarily form. Many young men fail their wife by failing to provide both her family and his family with where the fences are.

10 Maxims for Healthy In-Law Relationships

Odds are that you will be someone’s in-laws. Do to your in-laws as you desire your child’s spouse to do to you.
Parents, although superior in age, experience, and perhaps wisdom, must view themselves as counselors not dictators for their grown kids.
Grown children must avoid grumbling about parents; especially if they’ve failed to directly address the concerns in question.
Grown children must be active not passive in communicating about boundaries, plans, and choices. Make it clear when you are asking for counsel that you might take a different direction should Biblical wisdom dictate it.
Parents should not be offended if, in giving counsel, their grown children opt to take a different course. They should trust that if they’ve been obedient in training their children in the way they should go (i.e. covenant faithfulness), that the Spirit of Jesus will keep their children in that path of faithfulness.
Communication in both directions should be marked by love’s duty to “hope all things”.
If there is sin, and there will be, it should either be covered or confronted in love. Depending on the sin’s severity, other relations might take precedent over family government (i.e. the elders, the police, the company’s board).
You should always never use “always” or “never” in an argument.
In a conflict, in person is preferable (3 Jn. 13-14). Also, strive for brevity in written or in person correspondence. Don’t try to tackle all the problems at once. Set aside an hour, have a hard stop, and try to address just one part of the problem.
If conflicts arise, there may be wisdom in some measure of relational distance; but this should not be put in place without a clear path of restoration.

Long Life

The fifth commandment holds forth a promise: length of days. This isn’t a secret anti-aging recipe. Rather, this promise invites you to look to the mystery of adoption. God has adopted you through Christ. He calls you to honor Him in all your relationships, upward and downward. A child first learns obedience to their parents, and this is God’s strategy for training your kids to honor Him. A people who honor God their Father receive an inheritance of everlasting life in the halls of heavenly Jerusalem.

Charge & Benediction

As we’ve considered courtship and romance over the last several weeks, two things should stand out to you. God delights to give good gifts to His people. But we must not let our gaze linger on the gifts, but let our eyes be drawn to delight in the Giver of those gifts.

Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work. Amen.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

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Courtship 101 | ‘Til Death Do Us Part

by Ben Zornes · Aug 31, 2026

Introduction

If someone was given the choice between a luxury vacation on a private tropical island and counting a warehouse full of packing peanuts, the right option is readily obvious. But our culture has an acute case of apathy when it comes to the goodness & glory of marriage, and the mysterious kindness found in a godly courtship. We’ve swapped that which is a glory for that which is a bore. What God wants us to see when we look at courtship is an unsearchable wonder of His kind providence.

The Text

There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.
Proverbs 30:18-19

A Wonderful Thing

This riddle describes courtship as something of a mystery. It is the sort of thing that doesn’t quite follow the rules of scientific observation. What was it that brought this man and this woman together? This numerical riddle progresses from the mysterious and untraceable movements of eagles, snakes, and sea-faring vessels, to the union of a man and maiden.

Our curiosity wants a system, a chart, a ready-to-hand explanation. This riddle, like a good riddle, leaves us with a furrowed brow. If you could crack that code you’d be the wealthiest matchmaker of all time. Something guides the eagle in the sky, the snake on the rock, and the ship on the sea; yet that something leaves no trace.

There’s also a deliberate tension in this proverb. A couple are drawn together romantically, and of course, this union is unseen. This might tempt a couple to think they can indulge that union without scrutiny or consequence. In fact, this proverb is immediately followed with a warning parable: the adulterous woman eats, wipes her mouth, and says, “I’ve done no wrong (Pro. 30:20).” So what is the answer to this riddle?

There is One who does guide all things to their appointed end; the adulterous is a fool who says, “There is no God.” The wise man knows that in the magnetic pull that draws a man and maiden together, God is at work. That being the case, a young couple should walk through each stage of romance with the knowledge that their love for each other cannot escape the eyes of the Lord, and it is either pleasing to Him, or it is in defiance of Him.

Tracing the Untraceable

But the mysterious and wonderful way of a man with a maid does in fact have a visible outcome. Their unseen affection does become manifest. It is manifested in a wedding (solemnized vows) and it is manifested in children (consummation). So, let’s do our best to trace this often untraceable path.

Sparks Fly

God kindly limits the scope of your search for a wife or husband. God did this for Adam by showing him that his helper wouldn’t come from the Animal Kingdom. But in Adam’s case, he had the advantage of getting a corner on the marriage market. Yet the same God is at work in our case. Animals? Off limits (Gen. 2:20, Lev. 18:23). Same sex? Ditto (Lev 18:22). Anyone already married? Off the market (Ex. 20:14). The gorgeous woman you captured in conquest? Cool your baby jets (Deu. 21:10-14). Those too old, or too young? Out of consideration (Gen. 1:28). Outside the faith? No go (1 Cor. 7:39). In this way, God has kindly narrowed your search down to probably about a hundred suitable matches.

Your duty is to consider whether that pool of prospective matches is marked by godly virtues, and if not, find a way to expand the pool. Along these lines, Richard Steele offers this wise counsel, “Do not first love, and then consider; but first consider, and then love. Chiefly fix your observation on the soul of the [prospective wife].” Physical attraction shouldn’t be ignored, but godliness must take priority. Think of it like two cars in a garage. One is a vintage muscle car, one is a standard issue, but only one has an engine. Pick the one with an engine.

A man is seeking a helper for his particular mission. Say a man wants to go live off-grid up near Elk River. He needs to recognize that not every young woman will jump at that opportunity, but some might be thrilled by that prospect. So, as singles mingle, a man should know where he is going and if he is going somewhere compelling, with good-natured determination, he will likely have several interested parties. For young women, remember that a feature of courtship for a young woman is that of interruption to her current trajectory and the hitching of her wagon to a young man’s star. If the sparks of initial mutual attraction and affection begin to fly, it is important to quickly move to the next stage.

Zone of Vulnerability

Too many couples begin flirting and making eyes at each other, and then are bewildered by what they should do next with all their burning desires. This is what, around here, is called the zone of vulnerability. Both the young man and lady find their hearts becoming intertwined, and to walk away would bring about grief, heartache, and a horse-trough of disappointment.

This is where a young man must lead. He should not leave a young woman in a zone of guessing his intentions. He should not play coy with her. Nor should she lead him on, merely hoping for another free fancy dinner at Lodgepole. Quite as soon as he knows he’s smitten with her and that she is the sort of girl he’d like to build a household with, he should seek out her father.

Courtship Proper

When a suitor meets with a father for permission to woo and win a young woman, a father should put the young man through his paces. He should also pray with his wife and daughter about this particular young man, and consult his daughter about her willingness to begin getting to know this young man. If the father is satisfied with the young man’s character and the daughter consents to a courtship they enter what we could call “courtship proper”. It should be a season of deliberate consideration and mutual evaluation. Recognize that as a couple increasingly open up to each other, the emotional cost of walking away also increases. Thus, you should find any deal-breakers ASAP. A few things fall in this category: significant theological/worldview differences, significant sexual sin, significant financial follies, significant familial dysfunction, and significant character defects.

Couples should be permitted to have these discussions with each other, to disclose or confess anything within these spheres. This really should get sorted out within the first month of dating. Topics worth covering are: how many kids and when, goals, particular convictions, hobbies, approach to money, and favorite (fill in the blank). Parents can provide some discussion questions for the young couple to go over either together with parents present or in a public setting.

Which brings up an important, what the scholars would call, excursus, and what we plain folk call a rabbit trail. Keep things in public spaces. The temptation to take a courtship from a G-rated movie to an R-rated one is avoided by keeping to mom and dad’s living room, the coffee shop, or the city park.

So, if everything that should be brought up has been, then what next?

Put a Ring on It

If everything checks out, it is time for the young man to spend as much money as he responsibly can to purchase an engagement ring. He should request her father’s blessing to ask her to marry him. Then put thought into a meaningful way to propose to her. Pro tip: halftime of the Bulls’ game is probably a bad idea, unless you’re entirely certain she’ll say, “Yes.” Even then, a humble proposal is better than a gaudy one.

Plan the Wedding

Now is the time to plan a wedding. An engagement should only last as long as it takes to plan a wedding. Wedding preparations should be marked by a sort of oxymoron: austere festivity. No one should go into debt to put on the wedding, but it should be a party which the parents of the couple put on in honor of this newly formed family. This requires everyone involved to live by the biblical maxim, “Consider one another (Heb. 10:24).” Better to have a plain wedding with joyful fellowship between all involved, than a lavish festival full of strife, envy, and grudges.

During the whole process of a courtship, from the initial sparks, to the sparkle of the diamond ring, until the bride walks down the aisle, something quite obvious, but often overlooked, needs to be kept in mind: the couple isn’t married yet. Often, as soon as a couple starts dating, they begin acting as if they are one flesh. They can do this on any number of fronts. They are progressing to the uniting of their bodies, finances, emotions, and spiritual lives. But during this delicate, and ideally short, period between the engagement and the exchange of vows, they are communicating to each other what sort of behavior they are willing to partake in with someone they aren’t married to. Thus, prudence and propriety are not optional. You are setting the stage for either a marriage full of trust, or a marriage full of misgivings.

The lead up to a wedding should certainly be sweet, and the couple really should draw closer to each other. But until the vows are exchanged a big neon sign that reads “NOT YET” should hang over everything. Pastor Wilson has helpfully used the example of slowly rolling out a rug. The rug is the various aspects of intimacy: emotional, spiritual, financial, and physical. If you try to roll out one part of the rug while thinking you can keep the other parts rolled up, you will only end up with a badly misshapen rug.

Be Fruitful

God made us male and female for the purpose of being fruitful and multiplying worshippers of God (Mal. 2:15). You exist because God worked in a mysterious way to bring all your ancestors together. The way of a man with a maid is truly an unsearchable wonder. But it is a wonder because the doctrine of God’s sovereignty is behind it all. He is working all things together, for His glory and our good. This requires us, at every station and season, to walk by faith. After all, the way of a man with a maid is a faint shadow of Eden lost, and gives us hope for Eden restored by the most glorious thing to ever happen:

From Heav’n he came and sought her
To be his holy bride;
With his own blood he bought her,
And for her life he died.

Charge & Benediction

Be a real human. The materialist says, “There is no supernatural,” while the gnostic says, “Matter is defiled and must be escaped.” The Bible teaches that you are a creature, with innate desires, like the romantic desires which draw a man and woman together, but those desires must be pursued coram Deo, before the face of God. Only by walking in faith in Christ can you pursue your creaturely duties and desires while also bringing glory to the Triune God who made you with those duties and desires.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.
2 Corinthians 13:14

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Courtship 101 | Red Flags & Roadblocks

by Ben Zornes · Aug 24, 2026

Introduction

Wisdom doesn’t stand at the blackboard, chalk in hand, tongue askew, trying to solve increasingly complex math problems. Wisdom doesn’t parrot out rules of grammar, dates of historic people and events, or capitals of far off places. Wisdom wrestles with the world that is in rebellion to how God made it to transform it into the world that Christ intends it to be and for which He shed His blood. Trying to prepare for marriage, or prepare your children for marriage, without wisdom is like trying to paint the sky purple; it both can’t and shouldn’t be done.

The Text

Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
Proverbs 6:27-28

Summary of the Text

Our erotic desires are highly combustible. Like wildfires choke the fresh summer air, the smoke of sexual folly hovers all around us. For those enrolled in Solomon’s course of kingly wisdom, this is one of the repeated lessons. To let sexual desires off the leash of covenant vows, is like piling burning coals in your lap.

Everyone involved in courtship (parents and the young man and woman) need to beware that the same fire that warms and comforts in the fireplace, can leave the entire house a charred ruin if not kept in its proper place. Thus, wisdom is not simply a straightforward math equation.In Solomon’s prologue he tells his students that if you want wisdom you need to learn to wrestle in such a way that you come out triumphant (Pro. 1:1-7).

To sit at the feet of the King’s wisdom is to learn how to solve riddles, how to read between the lines, how to discern between that which is good and that which is best. Wisdom is, at times startling; it looks like threatening to cut a baby in half (1 Kgs. 3:16-28). By this cunning strength of God’s Word, we can overcome the dangers that oftentimes waylay couples. There are many red flags and roadblocks on this road that leads to marriage, and as saints we are given an armory for avoiding them all by God’s grace.

Wisdom for Parents

The Psalmist paints a picture of what the conclusion will be of parenting under God’s blessing: sons like fruit trees heavily laden with fruit, daughters like the finely fashioned pillars of a palace (Ps. 144:12). In both metaphors it is incumbent on parents to recognize that diligent labor is involved, whether in nurturing an orchard or in carving load-bearing pillars.

Sons are to grow into plants that nourish. Yet many young men throughout history have grown into ravagers. But our sons can only nourish if they walk in wisdom by the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). Daughters are to be praiseworthy, not simply for their beauty, but more so for their fear of the Lord (Pro. 31:30). A young man who is not bearing fruit, a young woman that is rough around the edges and wobbly morally, are not ready for marriage, and such individuals should not be considered for marriage.

Do not allow your sons or daughters to be narrow. If you allow them to cultivate weirdness or oddity or narrowness you are turning them into a boring person and sabotaging their marriage prospects. Things like good manners, good humor, good work ethic, good looks, good smell, and the list could go on are all what we might call “love in the trifles.” We want our sons and daughters to be fit in their body, soul, and mind.

Eventually, your son will cast his eye upon some girl. He will need your guidance, but also remember you have raised him, ideally, to be the sort of young man that takes responsibility. He has heeded your counsel about his mind, his appearance, his work ethic, his morals and so he should have no need to be intimidated by approaching a young woman or her father for consideration. But be mindful, the other family is under no obligation to say yes to his advances.

A “no” can be hurtful, and there may be temptations to bitterness or scoffing. But there are at least two possibilities for why your precious baby was turned down: he was unqualified or they are foolish. If some character defect emerged during a first pass at courtship, take that into consideration and work to weed out those defects. On the other hand, he may have dodged a bullet. If she is a remarkable young woman, the son may be encouraged to work on some of the things and then try again a time or two; and then if it works out, great, if not, let it go.

But there is asymmetry here for the parents of the young man as opposed to the parents of the young woman. The young man’s parents function as counselors sending out their son on a mission while the young woman’s father should function as a gate-keeper for a sacred garden. If a young woman is to be “a garden enclosed (Sng. 4:12)” then the father is the sentinel at the front of that gate.

With that in mind, when a young man approaches a girl’s father for permission to pursue his daughter (with the ultimate goal of marrying her) a father needs to recognize that this is one of the most important duties of his life. His daughter will be throwing in her whole lot with this guy. She is going to share in his successes and failures. She is going to bear his children, and this young man will be the father of his grandchildren. She will be blessed by his virtues and hurt by his vices. Thus, fathers need to do diligence in examining a young man. That examination should be thorough and charitable.

Wisdom for Sons

What should that assessment look like? I call it the “Three Legged Stool of Being Ready for Marriage”. Perhaps not the snappiest title I’ve come up with, but follow me here. A young man needs to demonstrate clear faithfulness and self-governance in three particular spheres.

The first leg of the stool is this: are you spiritually faithful? Diligence in daily Bible-reading, prayer, and joyful participation in Lord’s Day worship are not nice additions, they are indispensable. A man who is unable to lead himself spiritually is not prepared to lead a wife and children.

The second leg: are you sexually faithful? If you are habitually consuming pornography, you are unfit to marry. If you are unable to govern your sexual desires you aren’t cut out to lead a one horse parade. The prophet Hosea explains why this is the case: Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart (Hos 4:11). Unrestrained gratification of sexual desires in particular, along with drunkenness and gluttony, “take away the heart.” Such a man is truly heartless. This is also why God prohibited kings from multiplying wives: “Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away (Deu. 17:17).” Divided sexual attention leads to a divided heart. Your heart is to be kept with all diligence (Pro. 4:23). It is not capable of unlimited attachments, any more than a train is capable of running on multiple tracks at the same time.

The third leg: are you fiscally faithful? If a young man cannot yet provide food and shelter (notice I didn’t say three yachts and nightly Michelin star dining) he is not yet in a place to fulfill the duty of husbanding. If he spends like there’s no tomorrow, and saves just the same, he is unready. But if he demonstrates diligence in his work, meagerness in his spending, frugality in his saving, and has a vision for how to develop his vocation more and more, he is a quite suitable suitor.

If these three arenas are well in hand, the young man is the sort of man a father can count as a crown of glory, and which a prospective father-in-law can gladly give his daughter’s hand to.

Wisdom for Daughters

Now, regarding young women, we need to look to the Word of God as well in evaluating when she is ready for marriage. Proverbs outlines two sorts of women: a woman draped in the finely embroidered robes of wisdom, or a woman slinking about with the tattered rags of folly.

A young woman must recognize that she is either one or the other. She is either a daughter of Mother Kirk who builds her house upon the cornerstone of Christ and His Word, or she is a seductress who destroys everything in her path, leading souls to hell. Consider the flip side of Solomon’s caution to sons regarding seductive women in Proverbs 5. It isn’t principally a woman’s beauty that leads a man astray, it is the enticing words of her lips (Pro. 5:3-4). But her honey-sweet words turn into an assassin’s dagger.

Thus, a godly young woman must recognize that her lips will either speak worlds of glory into existence, or worlds of horror. Remember, a godly young woman is to be like the stationary and ornate pillars of a palace. A wife’s duty is to bring structure and beauty and belonging to the palace of the home. It should also be noted that this is the same imagery that is used to describe the church: the pillar and ground of the truth (1 Tim. 3:15). The church stands steadfast, it stands to honor and reverence our husband, the Lord Jesus. It encircles us, nurtures us, and gives to us our sense of belonging to the everlasting feast of grace.

But consider the alternative. Look at the sort of ruin which heeding a seductress’ spells brings about. Solomon echoes Job’s warnings from Job 31:9-12. His honor (offspring) is given to others (v9). His years will be spent under cruel masters (v9). His wealth will be enjoyed by strangers (v10). He will work for foreign slave-drivers (v10). His flesh and bones will be run ragged, and eventually he will mourn his folly (v11); regret will plague him, as he hears the echoes of his teacher’s unheeded warnings (vv12-13). His foolishness will be a dark cloud hanging above him everywhere he goes (v14).

A young woman is either a home-maker or a home-wrecker. Those really are the two options. You young women are to embrace the awesome glory of what it means to be a queenly fount of Christ-like wisdom, meekness, and chastity. To embrace this is to be a life-giver. To receive this gladly is to become a pillar of civilization. To rejoice in this is to become a tree in the orchard of God’s life-giving wisdom.

The alternative is to become a merchant of death. This is the path which all stripes of feminism lead to. A woman who is not intent on submission to God and His Word is consequently a rebel against the whole world. You young women really have only two paths open to you, submission to the Word or submission to your own fickle heart. One turns you into a flourishing garden, the other turns you into a gate to hell. In one word, a young woman should be remarkably content. And a content woman is the sort of woman cherished as beyond the price of rubies (Pro. 31:10).

The King’s People

All of this is downstream from our identity as the people of the king. We are called unto maturity. This is what it means to reign with Christ. The only way to avoid all the heartache and disaster which sin brings, is to walk by faith in the Christ who forgives sin and leads us out of our folly into His kingdom of wisdom.

Charge & Benediction

Are you a parent? A young man? A young woman? A grandparent who wants lots of great grand-babies? Have you been single for longer than you desire? Well…the call of God’s Word is get wisdom by coming in faith to Christ and letting the rest of life fall in line with that primary loyalty.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, Who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.
Jude 1:24-25

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Courtship 101 | Principles & Methods

by Ben Zornes · Aug 17, 2026

Introduction

In the recent movie, Toy Story 5, the beloved character, Buzz Lightyear, at last marries that spunky cowgirl doll, Jessie. But in typical Hollywood fashion, instead of being served a wholesome home cooked meal, it subverts everything and serves up the equivalent of gas station sushi that’s been left out in the sun for a few hours. Instead of a father walking his daughter, arrayed in dazzling white, down an aisle to give her hand in marriage to a qualified young man we get a tux-wearing Jessie waiting at the head of the aisle, while Buzz in a kilt is walked down the aisle to be given in marriage by his father.

The Text

When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee.
Deuteronomy 23:21-22

Vows Matter

You would be unwise to reply to that Nigerian prince who promises you his inheritance of gold bars. In our moment when truth-telling is at all an all-time low, what with hallucinating AI-bots and our institutions hogtied with webs ofself-protective policies, it is important to understand that very simple teaching of our Lord. He commanded us to let our “yes” be “yes” and our “no” be “no” (Mt. 5:37). Flippancy is the garb draped on the body of modern linguistics.

But the Scriptures teach us that even our idle words will be judged (Mt. 12:36–37). So, when it comes to our vows, and especially our marital vows, we should skim all the froth of flippancy off the top. Vows are an act of worship (Deu. 10:20). Our text makes it plain that when you make a vow before the Lord you are bound to pay it, and to not make good on your vow is to sin. Better to forbear a vow, than to make a vow and break it.

A yearning for “high-trust society” is often spouted by the conservative podcast mafia. But such a society is downstream from individual commitment to truth telling and vow keeping. So, consider that when a young man shows interest in a fair maiden, and they begin daydreaming about wedding bells, their individual paths are converging. That point of convergence is the vows they will make to each other, before God, with their family and friends convened in witness.

Headship Matters

Thus, if the marriage vows are an act of worship, we should prepare for those vows accordingly. If you were notified that the President would like to join you for your Sabbath dinner, you would prepare for that hospitality like you’ve never prepared before. But too many folks, both parents and singles, take little to no thought about the path they should tread on their way to a wedding. Again, if marriage is the clearest way in which we display Gospel truths, we should order our path there in accordance with biblical principles.

The first principle we should consider is that headship matters. Autonomy is as impossible for us as flight is for an elephant. With a few exceptions, a father is the head of his household (1 Cor. 11:3, Eph. 5:23, Jos. 22:14). As such he is to answer before God for the spiritual and physical health of those under him (Deu. 6:7, 1 Tim. 5:8, Mk. 9:42).

This applies to courtship in a number of different directions. In a normal relationship you have the young man and young woman, but you also have several additional threads of relational authority. You have two household heads, with a young man from one of them seeking to form his own household with the daughter of the other household (Gen. 2:24).

A godly father is the head of his daughter (Cf. Num. 30:3ff). Of course, earthly heads can allow sin to poison the whole body. A father can misuse his headship by running away from it, by brandishing it to feed his ravenous appetites, or by employing it unpredictably as suits his capricious whims. Nevertheless, when a suitor comes along showing interest, he is signaling that he would like to swear to take responsibility for both the bodily and spiritual needs of that man’s daughter. He is asking to worship God in a particular way: the marriage oath. This is a good desire, but it needs guardrails.

Self-Government Matters

Fathers, then, are tasked with teaching both their sons and daughters self-government in order that they might be well prepared for household government. “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls (Pro. 25:28).” In other words, there is no greater safeguard than Spirit-born self-control; if you want your son or daughter to navigate courtship well, imparting self-government to them is imperative.

This is why a young man, prior to planting notions of romantic attachment in the mind of the girl that caught his eye, should take responsibility by approaching a girl’s father to discuss intent, to be examined, and to obey the duties contained in the fifth commandment. A young man’s desire for marriage needs to be governed by higher laws.

Likewise, a young woman should not run off with the bohemian sweet-talker simply because he took notice of her. She is not at liberty to make such a consequential decision unilaterally. A godly father would not want his daughter to be taken advantage of by a man who will not take responsibility for her spiritual and bodily health, and that of any children born from their union. Thus, daughters need to also have their desires for marriage harnessed by the higher duty of self-control. This comes back to gendered duties. For a young man, his virtue is principally exhibited in courageous responsibility, whereas a young woman’s virtue is exhibited in chaste meekness.

Marriage Matters

We’ve previously established that marriage matters. That being the case, our approach to marriage also matters. A young man should not pursue a young woman until he is well-poised to provide spiritual, emotional, and physical care of her. Conversely, a young woman should not give herself to any man that is not ready to do so.

Think of these principles like the foul posts of a baseball diamond. There are clear out of bounds (no same sex, not multiple partners, sex before marital vows, etc.). But within that boundary there will be various methods which are bounded by those principles.

A young man, after finding himself interested in a particular young woman, should make all effort to communicate that interest to her father. Now, we shouldn’t be more fastidious than Scripture, but we also shouldn’t be less careful than it. In other words, inviting a girl on a coffee date is not an egregious transgression of the principle of honoring a father’s authority over his daughter; however, at some point (likely after a second or third date) it really would become an egregious error.

A father should take his role of protecting his daughter seriously. But he is raising his sons and daughters for the right sort of independence. He is raising them to be mature enough to raise his grandkids. One failure on the part of parents in overseeing a courtship is by hovering too close or not close enough. Some parents want courtship to be like a rigid set of military protocols that can never be adjusted. Others have never given thought to there being any protocols other than, “try not to get anyone pregnant.” We really ought to take our faith seriously, and this should show up in how we extract the principles of God’s Word and implement them via wise methods, appropriate to our circumstances.

The Gospel Matters

After all, all of these principals matter because the Gospel matters. Paul exhorted Titus to teach the saints of Crete to live in such a way that their manner of life adorned the Gospel they professed (Tit. 2:10). We don’t live this way in order to obtain the good news which the Gospel offers, rather it is the reasonable worship which flows from understanding the Gospel. Christ redeemed us from death in order that mankind might be brought into maturity.

Our culture has abandoned itself to the unrestrained pursuit of sexual gratification. In this, it reveals how immature it really is, for it cannot conceive of higher and transcendent glories. Our culture repeatedly shows how dimwitted we are. Our song is painfully out of tune. However, like the lines of sheet-music enable the notes to find their proper place, so to the principles of God’s Word, rather than dulling our joy, enable us to receive God’s gifts with acute delight. Only the wisdom of Christ makes the marriage bed sing.

Charge & Benediction

A sermon like this brings to mind that wonderful line from 1 Corinthians, “You are not your own.” In other words, we don’t get to follow our heart, we get something far better: God’s Law written on our hearts. So, families talk together about the principles that we’ve seen today from God’s Word, and then consider what methods are best for applying those principles graciously to your own set of circumstances. Single men and women, do something similar, talk with your folks and trusted older saints. In all this, we show ourselves to be men and women under the authority of our good and gracious King.

The peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of His Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessings of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be upon, and remain with you always. Amen.

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Courtship 101 | What is Marriage?

by Ben Zornes · Aug 10, 2026

Introduction

Following WWII the average age of marriage was about twenty-three years old for men, and twenty-one years old for women. In the early 2000s it had risen to twenty-seven and twenty-five respectively. It now sits at just over thirty for men, and just shy of twenty-nine for women. In 1980, only six percent of forty year olds had never been married, that percentage now sits at a quarter. The average modern couple dates for three to six years before eventually getting married (if they even do get hitched). Stats tell a story, and the story here is a culture that doesn’t value marriage. But why?

The Text

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4

For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:2

Cheeto Dust on the Mona Lisa

If you value something it will be demonstrated in your time, attention, and treasure (Mt. 6:21). By those measurements, our culture has been weighed in the balance and found wanting. It puts off marriage. It can’t be bothered with marriage. It easily breaks off or redefines marriage. It most certainly does not treasure marriage. Lest you think this is a matter indifferent, Scripture leaves us with a keenly different view of marriage.

It is to be held in honor by all, particularly in the sexual nature of marriage; God is displeased with those who toss marriage by the wayside or violate it (Heb. 13:4). Why is God displeased with this? Well, because He established marriage as a pattern for us to understand the union that the church has with Christ (2 Cor. 11:2). If a child walked into the Louvre with a bag of Cheetos and wiped his fingers on the Mona Lisa we would be outraged, but this is what our culture has done to the canvas of marriage.

Marriage Basics

Before we can discuss the particulars of how to pursue marriage, we must first get it straight in our minds what marriage is and what it is for. Imagine you landed an interview at a successful factory that manufactures highly explosive materials, but the rate of injury for floor workers was quite high. You would really be flummoxed if the interviewer wouldn’t disclose what role you were interviewing for. The skills necessary for being the administrative assistant to the CEO would be massively different than the floor worker who has to muscle heavy and dangerous machinery. Modern conceptions of marriage have presented us with thinking that husband and wife are just two different synonyms for the more generic word spouse; or that despicable term “life-partner.” To think that husband and wife are synonyms is like thinking I-beams and rose bouquets are synonymous.

The current apathy towards marriage has been taught. It didn’t happen by accident. It happened as a result of three particular sins. The sin of unbelief, the sin of godless autonomy, and the sin of beastliness. We did not trust God and what His Word teaches regarding marriage (Rom. 1:21a), and so we insisted that the individual and his reason were the ultimate authority of self-fulfillment (Rom. 1:21b-22). This inevitably led to unrestrained appetites (Rom. 1:23-32).

What Marriage is

So, what is marriage? Marriage is the covenantal uniting of one man and one woman for life. Tinkering with that formula is like entering a bad line of code into an app you’re building, you will brick the entire software. A covenant is a solemn oath whereby two parties are united into a new arrangement.

In the case of marriage the new reality that a husband and wife enter into is sexual in nature. Their individual lives are joined into a unified life. That unified life is a help to them, the only lawful and healthy means of bearing and raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, and the principle means whereby sexual sin is guarded against.

That’s what marriage is on one level. But on another level it is a parable of the great and unswerving love which Christ bears to the church and which she will, in eternity, bear to Him. But that leads us to more closely consider what marriage is for.

What Marriage is for

Marriage is intended to display the glory of Christ and the great salvation which He purchased for the church, and the joy which awaits those who by faith are united to Christ in the covenant of grace. A husband is not just the male member of a marriage, he is the principle picture which Scripture uses to depict what Christ is towards the church. A wife is not just the female member of a marriage, she is the principle picture which Scripture uses to depict the people of God.

We will look at the roles and duties of both husband and wife, but the Bible’s first description of marriage is a bucket to put the rest of the Word’s teachings on marital duties in. A husband is to leave his parents household in order to fully enter into the new order of union with his wife. Which indicates that a man is to be active not passive, and it is by his initiation that a marriage is formed. Secondly, the wife is made to complete the man by helping him.

I’ll come back to this repeatedly but for now think of men as lines and women as circles. In other words, a man is linear and thus he drives towards clear objectives and battles clear enemies, only to return to his bride with the fruit and safety of his labor. She, in turn, forms the circle for base camp from where his mission can repeatedly launch from. What this gives us is the faint shadows of the glory, rest, communion, and joy that awaits us in eternity.

A Call to Repentance

If you are tired of marriage being subverted by our culture, you need to stop subverting it yourself. Are you married? Have you been laboring with all your might as either husband or wife to fulfill your marital duties to your spouse, exemplifying the joy, purity, and glory of marriage to your children, grandchildren, and the watching world? Too many couples have fallen into ruts of sin and have contented themselves with an attitude of “well, I guess this is as good as it gets.” Instead of vigorously pursuing what God desires for husbands and wives.

Secondly, to prepare your children for marriage demands that you strive to set before them the sort of marriage that is marked by that purity, selflessness, and delight in each other. Too many couples cross their fingers and hope for the best when it comes to their hopes for their children’s future pursuit of marriage. But if you were teaching someone to make omelettes, you’d make sure the eggs they were provided weren’t rotten. You are the template which your kids will follow when it comes to the formation of their character, and how they think about and prepare for marriage.

For those who are unmarried, there are two categories of folks. Those who desire marriage, and those who don’t. More can be said on this, but if you desire marriage you desire a good thing which God intends for you. Thus, you should order your priorities to that end. Your character, your time, your wealth should be ordered to being the best husband or wife you can be. If you do not desire marriage, you should repent. To despise this gift is to despise the end for which God made the world.

As we look at the sad state of marriage in our culture, the church should recognize two things. We’re in this situation because of sin on the part of Christian marriages. Thus, we should collectively repent. Turn from our rotten way of doing things, and pursue with vigor the Bible’s way of doing it. Secondly, we should also lift our eyes up and see that the picture God put in front of us for what eternity will be like is even better than the best marriage you can imagine. You want to change the world? Fix your eyes on that picture of Christ dying for the church and transforming her into the most radiant and joyful bride imaginable.

Charge & Benediction

If you are married, set your marriage before the Lord and ask Him to show you ways you’ve become apathetic towards your duties to your wife or husband. If you are unmarried, ask God to give you patience in waiting and perseverance in preparing. And either way, live in light of the fact that the end of the world is going to be a wedding, not an atomic bomb.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

Sleep | Psalm 4

by Ben Zornes · Jul 13, 2026

Introduction

A few stats to begin…in a CDC study they found that “15.4% of adults had trouble falling asleep most days or every day […] just under one in five (18.1%) adults had trouble staying asleep most days or every day.” Another survey found that “Nearly 4 in 10 adults have trouble falling asleep 3 or more nights per week […] and almost ½ of adults have trouble staying asleep 3 or more nights per week.”

This is a hymn for the evening. But nighttime, when the din of the day has died down, leaves us in the silence of our own thoughts. Depriving prisoners of sleep is an ancient technique of torture. Certainly, when the lights turn off the clamoring voice of our own fears, guilt, regrets, and worries all come shouting. They aim to torture and give no rest. But David shows us in this Psalm, how to sleep in heavenly peace.

The Text

Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah. But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him. Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD. There be many that say, Who will shew us any good? LORD, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us. Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased. I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:1-8

Summary of the Text

David addresses God (v1). This psalm most likely took place during Absalom’s revolt. Turmoil was abundant. Everything was unsettled. Everyone was pointing fingers. But instead of listening to the accusations, speculations, discontent, and lies, David calls out to God. He asks God to hear him and gives two reason. First, God is his righteousness, and second, God is merciful. David is painted into a corner, but God has gotten him out of such scrapes before.

David addresses his enemies (vv2-5). With prophetic bite David rebukes the wicked for two things: one, turning his glory into shame, and two, loving vanity & lies (v2). His enemies have imagined up all sorts of tall tales about him, but David reminds them of the peace that the saints have in divine election (v3). He then challenges his enemies to search their hearts in the stillness of the night and see if they have that same peace (v4, Eph. 4:26). His last word to his enemies is what we NT saints would call an evangelical call. He summons them to put off their hypocrisy and offer righteous sacrifices by putting their trust in the Lord (v5).

David addresses his companions (vv6-7). Having defied his enemies, David now must rebuke his companions. Having fled with David into exile, they had begun to imitate the wandering Israelites, moaning and complaining about their circumstance and the hard times they were facing (v6a). They complain, “When will anyone think about me?” David sets himself in contrast to the bellyachers. For him, God’s smile is more delightful than a harvest-time feast (vv6b-7).

David addresses himself (v8). He says to himself, “Time for bed.” The Hebrew is lovely here. The laying down and the falling asleep are simultaneous. By the mercy of God, David can go right to sleep. His enemies keep spreading lies about him. His companions keep complaining. He is quite alone. So, even though he is isolated and alone, David dwells in the safety of God’s favor.

Haunted by Sin

This Psalm presents us with two radically different images. Man in his sin, and man in God’s mercy.

When you love lies, you must tell more lies. But sin weighs down the conscience. Think about the board game RISK. If you overextend your troops you make your entire army vulnerable to destruction. Each sin is a lie. With each lie you expose yourself further. This room is full of sinners. Sinners, by necessity, hide their sin.

Some of you think that the passage of time will absolve you of your sin. Some of you think you can inch closer to sin then other immature Christians. Some of you think that your sin isn’t as bad as others’. Some of you sinned this week in a way you promised yourself you never would again. Some of you keep telling yourself that you couldn’t possibly confess that sin. Some of you keep insisting that you should keep taking those pills, or that booze, or that joint in order to function. Some of you keep cherishing some ancient grudge. But when the night hushes the noise of all the distractions, your guilt, shame, and fears are a megaphone that won’t let your troubled conscience sleep.

This leads to two equally wrong approaches to how the wicked man views the godly man. First, the wicked make up all sorts of twisted tales about the righteous man. They blow faults out of proportion. They insinuate. They turn the glory of the righteous into shame. Those Christians can’t be as happy as that! They must be hiding something sinister. Or, like David’s companions, they try to drag the godly man into a pity party. This is much like the excuse making and the sulking within modern evangelical circles. Look at how they treat us WASPs; the illegal immigrants, the democrats, the Jews ruined our country; the deep state controls everything and elections don’t matter; the boomers are spending our inheritance and pulling the ladder up after themselves.

But making up stories about the righteous or trying to get the righteous to join you in a pity party are both inadequate to deal with your shame. This is why David tells them to offer righteous sacrifices. Stop the hypocrisy. Stop fondling all your lies. Stop your bellyaching. Stop complaining. Stop trying to pull the righteous down. Stop trying to discourage others from walking in righteousness. None of that will soothe your conscience.

Beloved by God

David stands here as a shadow pointing us to his anointed heir, the Prince of Peace. Consider the portrait of David here. First, his glory is mocked as a shameful thing. If this Psalm is during Absalom’s revolt, think of the mockery which was hurled on David, especially by Shimei (2 Sam. 16:5-14). The glory, peace, and prosperity of David’s kingdom is twisted by his enemies into something grotesque. Evil men do the same with Christ, both in His own time & down to the present. The Jerusalem crowds passed by hurling all sorts of falsehoods upon the very One who was sent for their deliverance. In the present day folks will say that Jesus is a crutch for the feeble-minded. A further point on this phrase from verse 2 is that it is a grievous shame whenever we, made in the image of the glorious God, turn that glory into shame by our sin.

Second, David insists that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself. This is the source of his peace. He knew he had been anointed as king by God’s purpose, and nothing his enemies said or did, and no amount of complaining by his companions could thwart God’s purpose. But who amongst us is godly? Here is where Christ shines brightly in this Psalm. The Father set apart His Son for Himself. Your only hope is to, by faith, share in that sanctification of the Son. God sets apart the godly for Himself, because the godly are only those who have hidden themselves in God the Son. You are the apple of His eye. The Church is His beloved. He will not forget you. If you are in Christ, by trusting in Him, the Father will not drop you through the cracks of His everlasting hands.

Third, David has a deep gladness because He knows what God thinks about him. This is why he can sleep peacefully. This is why he doesn’t tremble with fright upon his bed. This too draws our mind to consider Christ, who is the mercy and righteousness of God on our behalf. God looks upon Christ with pleasure. The Father beams with joy upon His Son. David asks God to hear his pleas because of God’s mercy and God’s righteousness. David invites his enemies to turn from their fretful lies, and trust in God. David rebukes the fickleness of his companions for being far too easily satisfied with corn and wine, when the only source of their peace and joy is that God looks upon them with favor.

Go to Sleep

The shame of your sin, the fear of your lies being exposed, the worries about what other people think will torture you with sleeplessness. But if you get this simple truth of the Gospel deep in your bones, you can truly rest. You can go to sleep, even in profound loneliness. Even in a tempest of ridicule, or the downpour of sulking excuses. This is because you rest in the safety of the merciful arms of Jehovah Tsidkenu.

Charge & Benediction

If you want to get sweet sleep, and it should be pointed out that this is not always the same thing as getting as much sleep as you want, remember that Scripture teaches us that such peace and rest stems from sins being confessed by entrusting yourself entirely to Christ. So if you desire rest, come to Christ. Charles Spurgeon commented on this Psalm, “A quiet conscience is a good bedfellow. How many of our sleepless hours might be traced to our untrusting and disordered minds. They slumber sweetly whom faith rocks to sleep. No pillow so soft as a promise; no coverlet so warm as an assured interest in Christ.”

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.
2 Corinthians 13:14